The Struggle

My mind is so full of questions,  thoughts, and observations. The more I learn and the deeper I look into God’s word, the more intense my feelings of inadequacy.
I woke this morning feeling exhausted and not wanting to get up. The first thought that crossed my mind was that there are people in the world that wish they had a bed to sleep in. How trivial of me to whine about wanting to sleep longer. Other’s didn’t sleep at all. I felt so selfish.
I’ve been thinking about my home church. There’s so much I love about it, yet there are many things I get frustrated with. It’s a small church, a family. I’ve grown fond of so many sweet people,  but I feel it’s time to move on. I don’t feel like I’m growing anymore. It’s been a great starter church and I have grown so much but I yearn for so much more. I want to do more and not be confined within the walls of the church.
I want to be so overwhelmed with Christ that my heart feels like it could burst. I want to be able to share the Gospel without stumbling over my words. I want to express this great gift we’ve so graciously been given.
God, please help me! I need you!
So much I want to say but I can’t seem to sort it all out to make sense. Does that make any sense at all?
I know it will come, in His time.


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